Today the landscapers are poisoning our grass so that we can have new grass. I think this whole poison thing is sooo not fun or imaginative. Out of all the creative ways to kill grass we use poison? Why not…like… a giant inflatable swimming pool that covers the hole lawn? Dads always get made when stuff covers up patches of lawn. Oh! Or what about a mine field? Every time a cat comes to poop on the lawn, "BAMB!" Patch of grass gone!
Ah ha! I've got it... ARMADILLOS! We could just buy fifty of them and let them live here for a while! Or better yet, goats AND armadillos! It would be a digging munching machine!
Question to self: How do we get rid of the armadillos and goats when the grass is gone?
Self: Lets use poison.
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